"Comparison is the thief of joy." I have that written down so I don't forget it because that is one of my biggest flaws. I constantly compare myself to other people. I compare what I do to what other people do. It's almost like everything is a competition, and I'm always losing. Even if I've started to get in the league I will find someone else to look at and compare myself to and that person is more experienced than me and better than me and I'm in last place again. Then my confidence is SMASHED like really good potatoes.
I look at whoever I'm comparing myself to like they are perfect, like they've never made a mistake, like they've never been on the bottom. Surely they've been where I am now? Surely they've looked up from the bottom of that little black hole and worked there way out. Right? But I don't get to see where they've started. They are noticed when they are at the top and I'm the one looking up to them. Then I am left trying to find how they got up there and I start. If I don't follow their path exactly I'm screwed.
That's just how I look at it.
But I'm trying to change that. I want to be up there, but I don't know how without watching others. Because I don't want to fall, and if I follow them exactly then I can't go wrong. That's not true. I am making a new rule to to this game of getting out of the bottom. Rule #1: Be me. Be original.
If someone else flies out then I have to do something different. If I'm not going to be original then I'm going to stay at the bottom. If I end up trying and falling then at least I found a way it won't work and I can pass that along to others and learn from it.
So really I've learned: I am my own person and I can't be anyone else so I am going to do things differently. I am going to do things my way. Most importantly I will not give up just because it didn't work the first time. I am only seventeen and I have my whole life to try to get out of that hole. So now I think I finally realized that I am a beginner and I can't compare myself to an expert. Not yet anyway. ;)
-Bay
Wonderful quote, very honest sentiment. Try to remember, just as you compare yourself to others and admire/envy what they have, there are others looking up to you. You are driven, articulate, intelligent, compassionate, and beautiful. You are a positive female role model for many!
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