Ready. Set. Write! Week 9

1. How I did on last weeks goals:
 -Well considering I didn't have a blog post last week pretty good I guess...

2. My goals for this week:
 -I can't have any. Yep. Can't. I have a concussion so the doc says rest. (I'll explain more in 4.) Luckily I've grown so used to the keyboard that I can type without looking. ;)

3. Favorite line from my story:

Anna watched the first tear fall down his cheek. She brought him nearer and held him tightly in a hug. Embarrassed that she thought only of how strong of a man she was holding in her arms, a man strong enough to show her the softest parts of him. A man that though she looked at as a super hero, he still showed her that he was only human, and that, she thought, was the strongest part of all.

4. Biggest challenge I faced this week:
 -Well Monday was a pretty busy day, but Wednesday was the busiest. I was in a car accident* on Wednesday that left me with six stitches, a black eye and now I've learned a concussion. Lemmetellya writing is not easy with a concussion, especially on a brightly lit computer.

5. My favorite part of my WIP:
 -The perspective. It's easy to see both of the characters raw emotion.

*The deats on the car accident in case anyone was wondering: I was not driving, just chilling in the passenger seat, my aunt was driving and my cousin was sitting behind me. We were completely stopped when a young lady rear ended us she was going 60-65 mph. I had the worst injuries out of the people in all five, I think, cars involved. My injuries were thanks to THE HELP, hard cover, flying up and hitting me in the face... luckily I did not get any blood on the book. :)

Please be safe while driving! And remember, when you are driving you aren't just affecting yourself but everyone on the road with you, so make good decisions!

How was your week?

Never a Life Alone

Most everyone has heard by now about Robin Williams passing. As I scrolled through Facebook I saw many people that were taking time to remember him. His death came as a surprise, to me and many more. Many people admired him and I can't help but think that if he'd have known how deeply he is missed that he would still be here today.

It doesn't matter where a person stands in this life, whether they are in a million dollar house or in a rental house; with a significant other or a cat; an education or a job. Wherever a person stands they can still stand alone.

There are a lot of people in this world but it is still easy to feel erased, blended into them, alone. Especially when it is so easy to say cruel words, that poison us, rather than the loving words that give us life. Loneliness is so much easier with the absence of kind words which seem to be the hardest of all to say.

"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, its not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel alone."
-Robin Williams

Looking down on the world now I don't think Robin Williams could ever feel alone. The enormous amount of people that admired and idolized him could have been a reason for him to keep going.

"No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world."
-Robin Williams

So maybe one letter, one card would have changed his mind. Maybe one person's thought of him could change his mind; could have changed his world.

From this possibility no matter how small, I've decided that one letter should be given to my idols, all my idols, famous or not, close or not. I want my idols to know that I am here looking up to them, that people will be there for them. Everyone should know that no matter how difficult life may be they never have to face it alone. Though there are evils in this world there are still caring people here too.

Failure, Thank You

I am a failure. I fail when I don't get my homework done when I want, or especially how I want. I fail if I don't understand something the way it should be. I fail because of expectations. Failure is totally okay. Expectations...probably not so much.

Okay so, people in general have expectations, whether that's of themselves, of others, or how things  should work. Rarely does anything play out how anyone expects. Their is always some hamartia that throws a curveball and makes you second guess what you already had planned out. And it truly is a hamartia because usually expectations are grand, spectacular, anything and everything you ever wanted to happen but because of that one flaw, tragedy strikes and expectations plummet.

And you feel like you are lucky just to get out of the chaos of failure with two feet. That is me on, a weekly basis, no a daily basis; fighting off the suffocation of failure. Everyone fights failure...though they may feel it in different ways. Sometimes that failure can turn into fear, like mine has. That's why it's okay to be a failure, because without facing that fear then I couldn't grow.

Thomas Edison said, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

So basically when a person fails, they aren't ever really failing. They are only finding flaws. The only thing that fails is their expectation, that is the most painful part.

Another amazing quote: "Fall down seven times, stand up eight."

Expectations can fail. They will fail. Almost always. However that doesn't mean that you fail. Not totally. You fail once, you try again. Try until it works. Fail until you win. We can't be winners every day, but there will come a time when we won't fail and something will work. That day when you finally win you will look back at failure, and you will be thankful. You'll be thankful that you worked against failure, that you worked to get so far. Failure isn't as brutal as it seems, it makes you work, and push and prove yourself.

I am a failure. I am okay with it. Failure will pay off. I will stumble and fall but failure will not be the death of me. Failure is just the beginning.

A World Remembering Scars

I finished THE FAULT IN OUR STARS by John Green (another AMAZING author) and I'm going to admit that I cried. I find it hard to believe that anyone can read that book without crying. That book was seriously one of the most heart wrenching books I've ever read.

I knew what was coming when I started to read it, but still it had a way of making me...feel. I felt the pain with Hazel and Augustus, and even though I didn't want to feel that pain, I read on and felt it anyway; realizing all along that even though this book is fiction it has some truth in it.

It made me accept the truth and that is still the hardest part. Oblivion is inevitable. Someday, everything and everyone I know will just simply end. And I can't help but just feel erased from a place that I was so much a part of.

BUT.

Yes there is a but. But at the end of the book, the pain settles, and I think it's because Hazel is wrong. Well she's right, but she's still wrong... Let me explain.

Yes, everything and everyone I was ever attached to will be gone someday, but I'd like to think that it won't matter so much because I'll be gone too. I remember Hazel saying something along the lines of no one can live in a person's memory forever because those people will die too. However, memories can turn into stories and stories can be passed on.

It may not matter that no one remembers who Shakespeare's muse was for Sonnet Fifty-five, because Shakespeare remembered, and he wrote it down, and that Sonnet carries his memory for him. That person is forever embedded into the words Shakespeare wrote even if they did not contain a name. As long as Shakespeare cared enough to write, Sonnet Fifty-five is all that mattered to that person.

Perhaps the most important thing that a person leaves behind is the bond of another. They may not leave a mark on everyone in this world, but that is okay because those marks are more often "scars." It does not matter how many people you touch so much as the way you make them feel. In this crazy world we remember more hideous names than beautiful ones, so rarely we remember the people that were gentle enough not to scar the world. We remember names like Hitler, or Stalin, or Saddam Hussein, and less people remember the names of the beautiful gentle souls like Anne Frank or Harriet Tubman.

So I've decided that when I die, I don't want people to just remember my name, or what I've done but I want them to remember how I made them feel. And when their memories wear thin, I can settle and watch the world pass knowing that I did not scar the world by trying to make one grand difference in a desperate attempt of remembrance, but I slowly impacted the world by impacting one person in a beautifully gentle way.